我猜不透我的感觉。
我质疑我的感情。
我拿不定主意。
我不想忘记任何一个。
我只想忘记自己。

如果我知道一切将不会有结果，
我还会不会继续爱你？
如果我知道结果不是我想要的，
我还会不会寄情于你？

如果。。。
如果。。。

也许一切就犹如你所说的那样，

早知如此，何必当初吧。。。

也许， 我们真的错过了些什么吧。。。
adapted from http://xmasyue.multiply.com/journal

作者写出了我的心声。。。

Another StrAnGe NighT

What's really happened to my grandma!?!? She made all of us so worry and shock...Grandma's health getting worst since 6 months ago. She's getting thinner and suffer in pain in these period of time. All of us have seen the bad omen from my grandma.....She forgot things she done, she can sleep for 24 hours a day, she mumbled in the midnight, she asked for some strange food and etc. Even some of the children were frightened by grandma's pale look.... Besides, she keeps calling me each day to take care of her although we have employed a maid. I'm fed up with that... especially at the time i hav a bad mood....I really cant stand for it. But i have to take care of her too as i should do so, it's also my responsibilty as her granddaughther.

Last night, grandma was suffocated in a sudden ( actually this is not the 1st time ). All of us were so worried. At the same time, all of the relatives were asked to appear and my house's so crowded after a few minutes. On the other hand my brother and some of my uncle were seeking for a doctor. A lot of prediction have been made by some of my relative while waiting for the doctor to reach our place. Some of them claimed that grandma got the stroke attack for second time. Some of them ask all of us approach to grandma for the last sight. Some of the aunties cried badly and etc.... It's really in a great confusion last night....

Lastly, grandma was sent to hospital by an ambulance after she checked up by the doctor. The doctor said that grandma'll leave in 3 days time if she doesn't cure in hospital. At the same time neighbour surrounded our place to figure out something....Should i said them 8 or concern !?!? But i know it's a normal reaction for them to do so when they saw an ambulance in front of our place.....

Well, grandma was alright after she got an injection in the hospital.... Oh my godness, it's a 360 degree turning!!!!!!! It's really a big difference before and after the injection. It's a bit funny when all of us got the news from Dad. Grandma was "playing" us instead of suffering in pain.... She made our emotion down and up within a few hours... However, we knew that she's suffer in pain and none of us can predict her remaining time.....Anyway, i do really hope tat grandma can live happily for the rest of her live.....And i think... it's not a big shock to all of us if grandma leave us in anytime....

~~~明知会哭还是要听~~~

女人心事( 陶晶莹 )

東區的咖啡座 幽暗的沙發裡
總有幾張熟悉的臉 那種聰明帶點捍衛的旗幟
想放棄卻又不甘心的樣子 越過他的肩膀空洞洞的視線
我的樣子背著心事 那種以為自己什麼都可以
喝了酒 卻又哭的像個孩子
我聽見 渴望的淚 我看見 我的從前
曾經 我也痛過我也恨過怨過放棄過
在自己的房間裡覺得幸福遺棄我
如果沒有分離背叛的醜陋 怎麼算是真愛過
請你試著相信一愛再愛
不要低下頭 別怕青春消失就不信單純的美夢
我在這岸看著你又為了你的堅持感動
你會的!~有一天會幸福的!~


爱情旅程 ( 张韶涵 )

你给的体温 幸福的气氛
它在你身边 睡的好安稳
是你太残忍 还是我太笨
这样的容忍 有点太牺牲
不习惯你的眼神 在风中不安的变冷
离开了时候 是过程 为爱狂奔
每次当爱从心痛起程
我明白等待背后是伤痕
为了一个人 每夜不熄灯
爱一个人爱得透彻
忘不了爱走过旅程
我依然相信幸福的可能
只要一个人 我愿意去等
在离开了以后还会心疼
他给的拥抱 幸福的气氛
你在他身边笑的好天真
是我爱太深 还是太单纯
这样的转身 有点太牺牲
不习惯你的眼神 在风中不安的变冷
离开了时候 是过程 为爱狂奔
每次当爱心痛起程
我明白等待背后是伤

黄昏以后 天亮之前 ( 刘若英 )

也许都这样，一直到老吧，黄昏以后人就更失落
喧哗霓虹灯，更让人心慌，看不清谁给谁的承诺

我选择在家里喝着酒
这应该是最安全的人生吧
想失去的也想起了曾经错过的
和可能永远得不到的
也许都这样一直到老吧
天亮以前人总很清醒
迟归的路人，霓虹熄灭前
也有个怀抱等待投靠

也有个怀抱等待投靠
为什么我总一个人
与寂寞作战和作伴
黄昏以后一直到天亮了以前
就算摆脱了睡着了还是会寂寞

转身奔向 一个怀抱
嗯~我还是孤单的一个人

一次幸福的机会 ( 刘若英 )

在那么有限的生命中
能被所爱的人深深爱过
或许不该再奢求再怨什么
世上的遗憾本来就很多

在艰难的说了再见后
你真的不该再紧紧抱我
刚才还能体谅的放开你的手
不代表我就够坚强洒脱
我们曾有过一次幸福的机会
当玫瑰和诺言还没枯萎
别说抱歉
我不后悔
曾经逆风和你一起飞
我们曾有过一次幸福的机会
似乎就要拥有 爱的完美
你说别哭 我说不哭
然后我们都流下了眼泪

你说别哭 我说不哭
然后我们都流下了眼泪

好想你 ( 徐若萱 )
还没忘了你 这么多天没见
可是我总想起你的声音在我耳边
今天心情好吗 是否不愉快
要一切都看得开 世界没有太坏
虽然不在你身边 我的心有一条线
恋着你 牵着你
好想你 想到愿意相信
我就闭上了眼睛 你在这里
别忘记 我们的约定
一直都在我心里 不管你在哪里
不要忘了我有多么爱你

不要忘了吃饭 不管有多忙 不
要忘了开车时候一定要往前看
其实我真的很快乐 有你一直守侯
一直走到了以后都挽着你的手
虽然不在你身边 但我在你心里面
我愿意 等着你
好想你 想到不能呼吸
想到没什么力气 没有关系
你别忘记 我们的约定
我一直在这里 别忘了我有多么爱你

后来

后来 我总算学会了如何去爱
可惜你早已远去 消失在人海
后来 终于在眼泪中明白
有些人 一旦错过就不再
栀子花白花瓣 落在我蓝色百褶裙上
爱你 你轻声说
我低下头闻见一阵芬芳
那个永恒的夜晚 十七岁仲夏
你吻我的那个夜晚
让我往后的时光
每当有感叹
总想起当天的星光
那时候的爱情
为什么就能那样简单
而又是为什么 人年少时
一定要让深爱的人受伤
在这相似的深夜里
你是否一样 也在静静追悔感伤
如果当时我门能 不那么倔强
现在也不那么遗憾
你都如何回忆我 带着笑或是很沉默
这些年来 有没有人能让你不寂寞
永远不会再重来 ......
有一个女孩 爱着那个男孩
.................................

我曾那么接近幸福

终于还是差了这一步
停在幸福前方不远处
若是爱与痛都曾铬心刻骨
又何必想哭
决定放手也是种幸福
至少不用再为爱尝辛苦
这一段旅途
就当作我对爱的梦想彻底的觉悟
我曾那么接近幸福
你却将我冷冷放逐
我的感情从此麻木
没有结束
不能重复怎么可能就此打往
为何上天要我孤独
好孤独
谁清楚
我曾那么接近幸福..........

***原来, 有些东西真的要亲身体验
才会发现它的可贵及重要
原来一切都比想象的更艰难

终于发现自己是比想象中
更受伤....更懦弱....更经不起创伤....

艳, 坚强点吧!!! 加油, 你必须克服重重的困难.....
除了你自己, 没人能帮你了.....***

只想爱你

我终于还是说了一句我爱你
还记得那个微凉夜里天空正飘着小雨
心跳的声音 像舞动奇迹
你看着我说千万不要爱上你
因为你只会让我伤心 别傻了快点喊停
你那么冷静 忽远又忽近
我知道我对你来说也许太年轻
我想我猜我问我终于了解
原来为爱流的眼泪 也是种甜蜜滋味 只想爱你
当我和你走在一起就已经决定
不看不听不问也不会放弃
是你让我了解自己 可以为爱那么坚定 只想爱你
好想每天睁开眼睛就能看到你
我知道我偶尔有一点任性
不管你做任何决定 究竟爱我还是逃避
Sorry 我还是不会放弃爱你

起初只是朋友

坐在窗邊看夜景　等著黎明的來臨
夜空佈滿了星星　彷彿點燃著你的名
曾經擁有的回憶　是否會像顆流星
光芒絢麗　劃過天際
消失後毫無痕跡

起初只是朋友而已　這個故事誰不熟悉
美麗的結局我不敢肯定　等待你的回應

起初只是朋友而已　以後是否能再繼續
這份感情若帶給你恐懼
我寧願隱藏在心底

在這一夜　我沒有睡
一直後悔為何要把自己說清
萬一　只是萬一
我就會一瞬間　完全失去你

摘自: 起初只是朋友 龚诗嘉

.......Thanks so much........

friends... thankx for those advice, opinion, support and encouragement...
i'm more brave bcos of u all
thanx so much... especially wei and ni... love u all so much de.... :)

过错，是暂时的遗憾。
错过，是永远的遗憾。

表白

表白可能是一段爱情的开始
表白也许是一段爱情的结束
无论如何表白的人都是强者
即使不成功至少
将来不会遗憾

^^"

I cant get into sleep easily though it's 1am now.
Thinking of so many things these few days and it made me so fan and blur.
It's really painful... Hope tat all of the problem can be solved as soon as possible.

Falling In LovE

I would hate to say it,
but our friendship just can't last.
The wonderful times we shared together,
have faded to the past.
I told you it would happen,
that our friendship was bound to end.
Although I know you care,
I cannot consider you as a friend.
Please don't try to argue,
just try to understand.
That time can change people,
as the tide can change the sand.
Our friendship has been lovely,
but you see it has an end.
For now I fell in a different way,
I've fallen in love with you my friend

Falling in love with you
is one of the hardest things I've ever done.
Some people find that strange,
but then,
they haven't been fighting their heart for years,
treat every feeling as "misguided" or worse.
When I speak to you,
I'm still waiting for the numbness that refuses to come.
The other day when you left,
my heart screamed a protest.
Was it fake?
I ask myself the question again,
the same question I've been asking for all this time.
The difficulty of the situation is made harder
by the fact you want me too.
How do I know?
The smiles you give me,
the phrases you choose,
your eyes.
I stare into your eyes and my heart jumps.
I stare into your eyes and my head reels.
We're best friends, but
I think I'm in love with you,
I'm convinced you're in love with me,
but I can't be sure.
I can't tell you my feelings,
I can't hear you tell me yours.
You're the one I want, but it cannot be.
Can we ever be together?
The answer to that is what really leaves me numb.