25 July 2006

哭了

今天的心情超级超级的差
原本的心情就没什么好的
再加上发烧,头痛,感冒小毛病缠身后,
心情指数可说已跌入十八层地狱了.


好烦好烦...
很多心事,很多不甘,很多不满,很多很多...
脑袋里似乎没有一处是空的...
有点喘不过气...


很想好好的发泄
很想大喊大叫
可是在夜深里大喊大叫,
一定会被邻居投诉吧!!!
最终... 我还是大哭了一场... (果然是个爱哭鬼)

除了哭,我唯一可做的便是把一切坏心情丢到这里来
即使是没人来读或看,
只要把一切丢到着垃圾桶,心情就会好一些些...


无可否认的是
孤独,寂寞,无助,无奈
这些感觉都非常恐怖 = (


当我跌倒时,你会扶我一把吗?
还是你要我自己跌倒自己爬起来?


当我用真心对待你时,
你也会用真心地对待我吗?


其实,对你好 并不是要得到同样的回报
真心对待你,是我心甘情愿的...
只不过,当一个人经过多次的伤害后,
原本的观念也有偏差了...


有时候回想,原来自己是多么的愚蠢
曾经的被利用,
曾经的被受伤害,
曾经的被背叛,
曾经的被耍,
曾经的曾经.........


真心的付出换来痛苦的回报;
献出关心及善意则被人当成了恶意;
原来好的角色并不容易扮演....
究竟该做好人还是坏人呢?!
好像... 对你仁慈就是对自己残忍.....


真的... 真的... 不知下一步棋该怎么走...
突然有个想结束一切一切的念头
结束生命的念头.....


也许,你会觉得我太悲观了吧....
或许我就是那么的脆弱;
经不起大风大雨,大海大浪;
难道非得如此坚强及坚定不可吗?!
难道不可选择作温室里的小花吗?!


真的不想再坚强了
真的不想再付出了
真的不想再做好人了


也许
是时候扮演狠角色了吧!
该试下背叛别人
该辜负别人
该伤别人的心
该耍一耍别人
好让他们尝尝那些滋味....


bilibala了那么多....有重点吗?!好像没有哦!! 哈哈:)这就是我咯!自己都搞不清楚状态....不过,哭后及丢进这些心情故事后,心情好了一些啦....希望你看透我要表达的意思...看不懂的话,就当作我在胡言乱语吧!!!

晚安咯:)

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

i think i can understand wat do u want to express...life's quite complicated and none of us know how's tomorrow. it's hard to be a kind person sumtime...

try not to think too much, there's a beautiful tomorrow waiting for us.... cheer up:) k?!

ai...

-yAn- said...

hahah... are u sure u can get wat i wanna to express??!! anyway, thanks so much, thanks for giving me support all the way....:) how nice is it if u r a guy, sure i'll fall in love.. hahah:)

ai wei said...

yan yan

don't recall all those bad memories. times go on, life goes on and we have to move on.
cheer up dear. i wan your smile.
anything then jz ring me. i will be your side always.

-yAn- said...

wei... actually,I was not recall those memories. just... sumtimes we cant avoid our own to do sumthing...i do not hope to b like that too. who wanna get suffer?! of course none of us wanna b suffered...

blogging is one of the way to release myself and it's oso the way to know the real feeling of my own...tis is the only place i can face myself...i can rest...i can.......

anyway, i'll be alright after that..so dun worry so much la.... just leave me in peace and giv me the space i wanna to release n express those sadness or happiness....

:) smile that u want

Anonymous said...

i'm here to

SUPPORT!!

=) GAmbaTeh...